Cambridge don’t need a Pilot to fly high in the League…
I don’t know about you but I’ve been really worried about the impending Lockdown in Lancashire. One of the things which has troubled me is all this talk about the “R” rate. I didn’t really know what it was until I had a sort of vision in my sleep last night which I would like to share with you all in the hope that you might feel as reassured by it as I am myself.
In it, a blonde-haired man in a scruffy suit and ill-fitting tie was standing in front of a lectern in a wood-panelled room, flanked by two men in white coats (who were clearly experts of some sort).
“I want to speak about the current pandemic and the impending lockdown in Lancashire” the blonde man said. “Lancashire, as we all know, has just one letter “R” in it. So does Preston; Chorley; Burnley; Lancaster and Morecambe. So all these towns in Lancashire also have an “R” rate of one, which is not good. In the north of the county, a place called Carnforth has two “R’s” in it and therefore an R Rate of Two. This is completely unacceptable and explains why I have personally instructed the Army to build a huge wall around the town to protect other people from its disease-ridden, fetid inhabitants. The good news is that Blackpool, on the other hand, has no “R’s” in it at all. So that’s fine – and it’s also why there will be a football match with live spectators played there on Saturday and the town itself will not be locked-down at all as from next Tuesday. Clear enough with everyone?”
At this point, the two men in white coats looked at each other with worried expressions on their faces. One of them produced a large syringe and stuck it into the blonde man, who immediately assumed a dreamy expression and started burbling about actually being the King of the World. As they helped him from the room, my eyes became focused on what was written on the front of the lectern he had been standing behind. On a background of red and yellow shapes was this simple message:
RESPECT THE “R” RATE
PUT YOUR HEAD BETWEEN YOUR KNEES
AND KISS YOUR “R’s” GOODBYE
I hope you all find that as helpful as I have. It’s important because there were rumours that Morecambe Football Club was going to be involved in an EFL Pilot game which would allow one thousand fans to actually attend the Mazuma Stadium to watch today’s League Two match against Cambridge United. One of the club’s owners – Colin Goldring – said the following once outline approval of this move by the EFL had been received a couple of days ago:
“We have thought about this carefully after being considered by the league for a trial this weekend but unfortunately we are not in a position to complete the regulatory work and get this signed off in time for this weekend’s game. Our staff have been working diligently for many weeks on the protocols required by the various authorities and we are almost ready for the signing off stage. We are confident that these issues will be resolved so that we can welcome our valued supporters back into the Mazuma Stadium early in October. We are sorry to disappoint supporters who may have raised hopes of attending Saturday’s match, but we have to be mindful of everyone’s safety during this pandemic and abide by the various licensing protocols.”
Perhaps for fear of upsetting the Powers That Be, Mr Goldring failed to mention that the short notice given by the EFL in itself makes it effectively impossible for most football clubs to get all the required measures in hand – particularly the Safety Certificate required from the Local Authority before any move of this sort. This seems to me at least to be yet another example of poor administration by the self-styled governing authority of League football. Their Charge Sheet is a long one. Let’s briefly consider the EFA’s so-called `Fit And Proper test’ for owners of English football clubs, for example. We all know that these alleged `tests’ did absolutely nothing to avoid the sad demise of Bury and the outrageous expulsion from the League of Macclesfield last season as well as the equally scandalous relegation of Wigan Athletic. This week, poor old Macc had a winding-up order served on them and their future looks as bleak as Bury’s did this time last year. And what has the EFL done to ameliorate the situation they have placed the Silkmen in? As always – absolutely nothing; they have washed their hands of it as if what has happened has nothing to do with them. Yet the problems Bury, Macclesfield and Wigan have found themselves in came about in situations where the coaching staff, fans and players were totally innocent parties and the behaviour by individuals approved of by the EFL were solely responsible for what eventually happened to all three clubs. Yet the people who run the EFL just shrug their shoulders and carry on as before rather than taking any responsibility for this very basic failing in due diligence. This is simply not right – there should be repercussions for their abject failure to regulate rogue owners in the English game. But there never are. Heads should roll at the EFL. But they never do…
The idea of a Pilot at Morecambe is also an example of the reality of the general lack of joined-up thinking as far as both the governing authorities and the EFL are concerned. How could it be even vaguely feasible to corral ten hundred human beings into an enclosed space literally on the eve of a COVID Shutdown in Lancashire specifically designed to prevent further spread of the virus?
You couldn’t make it up; in other circumstances, this sort of literally incomprehensible myopia on behalf of people who make decisions about our daily lives would be actually laughable. Just imagine if the club had been able by some miracle to fulfil all the conditions needed to get spectators into the ground today. What would happen then? That’s right – the government and no doubt the EFL as well would invoke the Mantra I saw in my dream…
Anyway – back to the football. The wheels fell off Cambridge United’s latest campaign last Tuesday when they lost by the only goal of the game against Newport County in South Wales to exit this season’s League Cup competition. Prior to that, they had beaten Championship Birmingham City on their own patch; overcome Fulham’s Academy 2-0 at home in the EFL Trophy and convincingly beaten Carlisle United by three goals to nil in their first League Two game of the season a week ago. The U’s Head Coach, Mark Bonner, had thus steered his club to two places above today’s opponents in the League Two table to the dizzying heights of second behind newcomers Harrogate Town. In previous meetings, United had won just four of their twelve League matches – albeit inflicting Morecambe’s record 7-0 defeat by any other EFL team in the process – and lost six. They also suffered the indignity of losing to the Shrimps – who were then still a non-league club – in their only meeting in the FA Cup a whole twenty years ago.
The only blot on Morecambe’s progress so far happened when they lost at home to Rochdale in the EFL Trophy. Apart from that, they have won every other game: away at Grimsby and Cheltenham and at home versus Oldham last Tuesday to progress to the Third Round of the League Cup. Derek Adams named Aaron Wildig – who returned on Tuesday to score the winning goal against Oldham following a bout of illness – as his Captain today. With Carl Stockton still not fully fit, the impressive Liam McAlinden was also named in the Manager’s starting eleven today.
It was dry and sunny throughout the match started as United did a passable imitation of Wycombe Wanderers in their half-hooped sky blue and purple strip. After three minutes, superb play between Ben Pringle and Aaron Wildig ended with Carlos Mendes-Gomes setting-up Liam McAlinden with a pass within the U’s penalty area for a low shot which went just to the left of Callum Burton’s left-hand post. A minute later, a lovely curling pass just failed to reach Liam as he lurked in the visitors’ penalty area. But a warning of things to come arrived straight after that as Joe Ironside’s dangerous run was blocked by a tremendous tackle by Harry Davis. From the resulting corner, the Shrimps struggled to clear their lines and they were soon defending again as Nathaniel (KP) Knight-Percival conceded another corner kick with a defensive header with eight minutes played. Three minutes later, Harrison Dunk found himself well-placed for the visitors again but his weak effort was easily saved by Jake Turner. Morecambe had the next chance though and Burton did well to save at point-blank range from Davis’ powerful header following a corner kick. Almost half an hour had been played when Adam Phillips took a wild swipe at the ball and missed from about thirst yards to the right of the target from his point of view. At the other end, ex-Shrimp Paul Mullin caught the eye almost every time the ball went near him but Morecambe’s play so far had been intelligent and incisive and they looked the better side. McAlinden again held the ball up well after seventeen minutes before outsmarting his marker and sending over an excellent cross from the home team’s left. But the match started to slip away from them with twenty-eight minutes on the clock. The visitors attacked down their left flank and when a Shrimps’ central defender failed to clear the ball, Wes Hoolahan took advantage with a tremendous strike past Turner into his top corner. It soon got worse. Turner was forced into a smart save from Luke Hannant after he had been fed by Mullin just after half an hour and then Paul himself showed us all what we are missing when he received the ball on the right of the Morecambe penalty area from his point of view, turned Stephen Hendrie inside-out and curled a sublime shot to the right of Turner. The ball hit the woodwork and bounced off a helpless goalkeeper into the net to put the visitors two goals up. After this, the hosts seemed to both drop their heads and lose their shape. Just four minutes after conceding the second goal, they shipped a third. Adam May was beautifully found from the Cambridge left in the centre of the pitch and steered another fine shot past the home goalkeeper. And still the visitors played on the front foot: the half ended just after Robbie Cundy had missed with a close-range header from a United free kick during stoppage time.
The only hope for the home fans during the second half was that Morecambe would regroup and actually start to threaten their visitors with a strong wind at their backs. But if anything, their performance became even more disjointed than it had been earlier on and the fear was that the U’s were in the process of equalling or even exceeding their previous record score against the Shrimps. Ironside got his name on the scoresheet with an unchallenged header from a corner after 53 minutes. Then Mullin scored another peach of a goal on the break following another defence-splitting pass. And it could have been worse. The visitors had two penalty shouts – one against Turner and what seemed to me to be a cast iron one against Davis – as well as scorning several other chances. At the end, United were showboating to the obvious frustration of their opponents who seemed unable to do anything about it. Referee Ben Speedie crowned a curious performance by booking Carlos Mendes-Gomes for diving after an hour when a visiting defender clearly scythed straight through the back of him: it should have been a penalty. But he also failed to punish a late tackle by substitute Sam Lavelle early in the second half and a horrendous lunge by Toumani Diagouraga later on when other referees might have sent both players off.
But we can’t blame the Referee for today’s result: this wasn’t so much a defeat – it was a humiliation. Cambridge were faster to the ball after about twenty minutes and seemed more committed to the cause throughout the game. But one swallow doesn’t make a summer and Derek Adams doesn’t become a bad manager overnight. Let’s just hope this was a Bad Day At The Office for his men. At the end of the match, the Shrimps fell to fifteenth position in League Two. Cambridge, in contrast, went straight to the top. If this is a measure of their usual performances, it is hard to see them falling from this exalted perch.
Morecambe: 1 Jake Turner; 2 Kelvin Mellor; 3 Stephen Hendrie; 4 Nathaniel Knight-Percival; 10 Aaron Wildig (C); 6 Harry Davis; 8 Toumani Diagouraga; 11 Carlos Mendes- Gomes (Y); 20 Adam Phillips; 18 Ben Pringle; 19 Liam McAlinden.
Subs not used: 12 Mark Halstead; 5 Sam Lavelle 7 Jordan Slew; 14 Alex Kenyon; 16 John O’Sullivan; 23 Freddie Price; 21 Ryan Cooney.
Cambridge United: 1 Dimitar Mitov; 2 Callum Knoyle; 16 Robbie Cundy; 5 Greg Taylor(C); 11 Harrison Dunk; 14 Wes Hoolahan; 19 Adam May; 4 Paul Digby; 7 Luke Hannant; 10 Paul Mullin; 20 Joe Ironside.
Subs not used: 25 Callum Burton; 23 Tom Knowles; 3 Jack Iredale; 9 Andrew Dallas; 17 Leon Davies; 26 Harvey Knibbs.
Ref: Ben Speedie.
