No Brucey Bonus for Sad Shrimps.
My goodness, how things have changed. The only other time Morecambe have played Newcastle United in a competitive match was on 23rd August 2013. The Globe Arena – as it was then – was virtually full, with more supporters from the North East in the ground then there were Shrimps’ fans. In the corner, television pundits such as Gary Megson were asked for their analysis of the match as it was broadcast live on satellite television. The atmosphere within the stadium was electric and I for one was really glad to be there, standing among the home crowd in what is now known as the Omega Stand. Morecambe lost but the team put on a tremendous display against their illustrious visitors – and the Geordie fans were a credit to their club and their city at the end of the game with a very generous reaction to their defeated hosts.
But – as we all know – today was the second day that Lancashire was officially locked-down By Order of HM Government. Everywhere in the county, except Blackpool of course. It is common knowledge that Blackpool is a sleepy little place which nobody visits – there are no Illuminations; Zoo; Tower; trams or Pleasure Beach to attract anyone, are there? According to the Department of Health, there were 34 new cases of COVID-19 in the Lancaster district (which includes Morecambe) last Saturday. In Blackpool, there were 78 or over twice as many even before the arrival of several more thousands of visitors than usual over the weekend.
So it obviously makes perfect sense not to lock-down a place which has a higher Coronavirus infection rate than virtually anywhere else in the county. Perfect sense if your name is Boris, apparently. After all, Dominic Cummings may have already booked his next short break there and we all need to get our priorities right. How wretched would we all collectively feel if anything was done to spoil that for the man who personifies how much we are genuinely all in this together?…
Anyway, the plain fact is that although it would be allowable for a thousand Blackpool and Toon fans to visit Bloomfield Road to watch United there if that happened to be the venue for tonight’s Third Round League Cup tie, only a handful of people were allowed into the Mazuma Stadium tonight.
So the Magpies and Morecambe fought-out their contest in front of an effectively empty ground. Derek Adams had to shuffle his pack as first-choice goalkeeper Jake Turner is a Newcastle United player. Mark Halstead was thus promoted to first-choice stopper tonight with young Andre Da Silva Mendes warming the bench. DA would also want to shake things up following Saturday’s humiliation at this ground, when another United – Cambridge in this case – gave the Shrimps a lesson in how to play football when mauling them by five goals to nil. He was unable to name ex-Newcastle full-back Liam Gibson or Frenchman Yann Songo’o in tonight’s squad either as the signings were made too late for them to feature.
Opposite Number Steve Bruce made the following statement before the game:
“It’s never going to be easy in the cup competitions. It’s their cup final and their players will be champing at the bit to play so we’ll pick a team that will be big enough, strong enough and fit enough to go and get a result.”
He was as good as his word and included in his squad many of the players who lost at home to Brighton & Hove Albion by three goals to nil just last Sunday. People like Joelinton, Matt Ritchie and Jamaal Lascelles were named in the starting line-up and household names such as the huge and combative Andy Carroll were available from among the substitutes.
It had been raining by the Lancashire seaside and the grass was slick and wet as the game kicked-off. The visitors went straight onto the front foot – and stayed there. The pattern of the game soon emerged – Morecambe sat back and allowed United’s back four to pass the ball between them at will before choosing an attacking option. They had plenty of these: up-front, Joelinton was powerful and quick on the left and on the right, the tricky Jacob Murphy had too much for the men in the red strip right from the start. The home team’s nerves – or perhaps sense of inferiority – was apparent as early as the second minute, when Stephen Hendrie allowed a regulation pass to him to go straight into touch. Just five minutes had been played when Schoolboy Errors allowed Murphy to take three Shrimps defenders out of the game on the Newcastle right and put the ball into the middle where it eventually found its way to Joelinton at the far post for a simple tap-in. As Morecambe appeared collectively shell-shocked, the Magpies continued to dominate the play and could have gone further ahead after nine minutes. Murphy’s lovely chip from the right looped over Mark Halstead’s head, hit his left post and rolled past a static Joelinton, who seemed too surprised to react. Jordan Slew then forced a corner which visiting goalkeeper Keith Gillespie caught far too easily after ten minutes. Up the other end, Joelinton and Murphy were combining well repeatedly – and the Morecambe defence continued to just stand off, seemingly mesmerised by their superstar visitors. Newcastle’s number 23 only just missed with a cheeky shot after sixteen minutes and blazed wildly at the ball on the United right when well placed two minutes later. He finished wildly again shortly afterwards but was in the right place after nineteen minutes to play a low ball right through the middle of the Shrimps’ defence to Miguel Almirón, who easily beat Halstead to double the lead. Two minutes later, Toumani Diagouraga ran powerfully through the visiting defence and drew a really good save from Gillespie – the only time he was seriously tested all night. Normal service was resumed after 26 minutes though when that man Murphy scored Newcastle’s third far too easily – simply running through a static defence and picking his spot. Half an hour was on the clock when Joelinton went past Kelvin Mellor as if he wasn’t there, ran down the Toon left and curled a peach of a shot out of reach of a despairing Shrimps’ goalkeeper to make it nil-four. Could it get any worse? It could – and it did. Diagouraga was lucky not to be sent off last Saturday with a two-footed lunge but tonight he didn’t get away with it. He scythed-down Sean Longstaff right in front of Referee Darren Drysdale with just over a half an hour played – and off he went. Newcastle celebrated by sending a shot from Almirón just over the bar after 37 minutes and then forcing Halstead into an excellent parry from Longstaff’s unchallenged shot in the fifty-fifth minute. But still the visitors weren’t satisfied. In the first minute of Extra Time, Isaac Hayden made it five to the Magpies with another thunderbolt as the Morecambe defence again stood off and watched.
Last Saturday’s five-nil defeat was the worst Derek Adams had experienced as a football Manager anywhere in Britain. So new records were there to be beaten during the second half. Could Newcastle trump this score with even more goals? Yes they could. Captain Jamaal Lascelles made it nil-six with a simple header from a corner after just five minutes whilst nobody in a red shirt was anywhere near him. Sam Lavelle then deflected a back-heel past his own goalkeeper right at the death.
Could substitute Andy Carroll open his account in his second spell with the Tyneside club? No he couldn’t. A goal-bound header was blocked by one of his own team-mates after 67 minutes. He received a point-blank cross from Murphy – who had yet again run through the Morecambe defence as if they weren’t there – after 83 minutes and contrived to miss when unmarked when it would have been simpler to head the ball into the net. In the meantime, Halstead saved well from Hayden after 53 minutes; Lavelle cleared the ball off the line with seventy minutes played and substitute Ryan Fraser headed powerfully against the bar with about five minutes left. So it ended nil-seven to the visitors – and it could have been more.
Seven years ago, Morecambe gave Newcastle a scare – and a proper game. Tonight, Derek Adam’s team were woeful; their performance during the first half in particular actually pathetic. It could be said that there should always be no contest between a Premiership team who have spent thirty-five million pounds during the summer on new players and a League Two team who have spent precisely nowt. But this was a shameful display by the Shrimps tonight – men against boys barely describes how inept it was.
So the Toon march on to Rodney Parade and Newport County in the next round. Newcastle play Spurs next and one player whose weekly wage would apparently pay-off all of Macclesfield Town’s debts. Morecambe meanwhile face bottom of the table Southend United at Roots Hall. This has always been a Happy Hunting Ground for the Shrimps. Let’s just hope that their current form: two games played; no goals scored and twelve conceded – doesn’t completely destroy the team’s confidence.
Morecambe: 12 Mark Halstead; 2 Kelvin Mellor; 3 Stephen Hendrie; 5 Sam Lavelle (C); 6 Harry Davis; 7 Jordan Slew (21 Ryan Cooney 70’); 8 Toumani Diagouraga (R); 9 Cole Stockton (19 Liam McAlinden 58’); 10 Aaron Wildig; 11 Carlos Mendes-Gomes (20 Adam Phillips 34’); 16 John O’Sullivan.
Subs not used: 13 Andre Da Silva Mendes; 4 Nathaniel Knight-Percival; 14 Alex Kenyon; 18 Ben Pringle.
Newcastle United: 29 Keith Gillespie; 2 Ciaran Clark (21 Ryan Fraser 45’); 6 Jamaal Lascelles (C); 9 Joelinton; 11 Matt Ritchie; 14 Isaac Hayden (32 Daniel Barlaser 62’); 17 Emil Krafth; 22 DeAndre Yedlin; 23 Jacob Murphy; 3 Sean Longstaff; 24 Miguel Almirón (7 Andy Carroll 62’).
Subs not used: 26 Karl Darlow; 8 Jonjo Shelvey; 13 Callum Wilson; 16 Jeff Hendrick.
Ref: Darren Drysdale.
