Shock, Horror: MK Plastics Lose to Morecambe: because the Match Only Lasted 98 Minutes…
We start with news of three new signings for Morecambe football club this week. Twenty-year old Kayden Harrack has been given a contract until the end of this season. He was a junior at Brentford and has been on QPR’s books until recently, when he became a free agent again. One of the reasons Kayden has probably signed on the dotted line is that he might be able to team-up once more with fellow Grenada international defender Jacob Bedeau in the heart of the Shrimps’ rearguard.
Brandon Barker is a 27-year old winger who is a product of the Manchester City Academy. He has been on the books of other clubs as diverse as Glasgow Rangers, Reading and Omonia Nicosia, where he was part of the team which won the Cypriot Cup last season. When he was on-loan to Preston North End five years ago, his first goal for them was when he scored against us in a League Cup tie which the Lilywhites won by three goals to one at Deepdale. He has also been given a contract until the end of the season.
This week saw tarnished former Shrimps’ favourite Cole Stockton sign on-loan for Barrow after an unsuccessful spell with parent club Burton Albion in which he has played only eight games and scored just one goal so far. Presumably to make way for him, Barrer have allowed their all-time record signing to join the Shrimps on-loan until 30th June 2024. Scouser Gerard `Ged’ Garner had been with the Bluebirds since signing from Fleetwood a year ago but his time with them has been disappointing, with just two goals scored in his twenty-three appearances so far this season. Let’s hope the 25-year-old re-discovers his former potency as a striker for the Cod Army during his time with us. Failing that, even a fraction of the form he once displayed during his time as a Liverpool trainee would do. As an eleven-year-old, he scored an astonishing seventy-six goals in a single season and broke a record previously held by Wayne Rooney in doing so. I think we’d all settle for seventy-five Ged…
Also off the field, Morecambe fans have finally shown some collective sign of coming out of hibernation and waking-up to the awful reality of the ownership at our club. At last, there is a concerted effort to start to organise and show our joint displeasure with the Bond Group and demonstrate – at long last – that we are not just a bunch of complacent pessimists who think that Morecambe FC’s fate is written in stone and we can’t even try to do anything to affect this in a positive way. The Shrimps Trust should have been in the vanguard as far as leading this opposition to the current situation but they – typically – have done nothing at all; not even contacted their members to give us all the slightest idea of what they even think about the current situation. It’s about time they got off their backsides and showed some leadership – and some much-needed backbone – for a very welcome change.
It’s not long since Morecambe last encountered MK so-called Dons. The club that should never have existed as a member of the Football League won quite easily 1-3 at the Mazuma Mobile Stadium less than a month ago. I’m going to repeat part of what I wrote at the time and then move on.
After they had taken the lead, the Plastics’ team stood in front of the home end and basically collectively put two fingers up to our fans. Why? This is part what I wrote at the time:
“The way the whole of the team in the dark blue strip celebrated in front of the home supporters after this was unnecessary, provocative and disrespectful. Weak referee Lewis Smith should have put a stop to it. But he didn’t. He was far too quick to award free kicks to MK or stop the game when players such as Grant, Tomlinson and – in the second half – MacGillivray feigned injury. The Plastics were winning by a single goal when the goalkeeper decided to go down off the ball way outside his own area. Minutes later – surprise, surprise – he was absolutely fine. It was just very obvious time-wasting. The referee booked James Connolly for an innocuous challenge on Max Dean after 27 minutes. Dean didn’t cover himself with glory with his reaction to this and the way he refused to accept James’ apology made him look really petty and quite pathetic as a player – and as a man. Captain Dean Lewington – playing his six thousandth game or whatever it was for the Frauds today – also led by example – as he has done every three thousand and fifty-seven times I have seen him previously. His game is niggly and petulant: typical of the style of football they indulge in. His reaction to a clear free-kick which he conceded near the end of the first half said it all. A stronger official in the middle would have booked him but the officious Mr Smith didn’t even have a word with him. Watching them today, there was something unwholesome about the Plastics which put me in mind of Bolton Wanderers. They have some very good players and they play some excellent football. They don’t need to cheat and play-act all the time. So why do they?”
My explanation of this is that the players’ behaviour on the pitch reflects the ethos off it. Their Chairman once infamously told the Guardian about the way he masterminded a very dodgy deal to buy Wimbledon FC lock, stock and barrel and put that club out of business altogether:
“I did a deal that was wrong. I’m not proud of the way football came to Milton Keynes.”
Oh really? Deeds speak louder than words – has this gentleman ever made even the slightest effort to remedy this self-declared `wrong’? What do you think?
MK Plastics came about as a part of a scandal which proves that money talks much louder than any sort of morality or ethical standards do as far as the controllers of The Beautiful Game in this country are concerned. And who was the Chairman of the Football Association when this very dubious takeover was sanctioned by them in 2003? Oh – it was the same person who is now boss at infamously incompetent media giant BT and who was Chairman of the Post Office when Computer Weekly published its exposé of the Horizon scandal at the disgraced organisation as long ago as 2009: the Scottish gentleman otherwise known as Mr Adam Crozier. Delightful chap. Just wait for him to refund all the bonuses he was paid as countless innocent people were sent to prison or had their lives ruined on his watch over Horizon (but don’t hold your breath…)
It is said that `cheats never prosper’ – but MK Frauds are the proof that this saying is not always true. Cheating is a key part of the very fabric of their soul – and for me, this very unpleasant aspect of their ethos explains how obnoxious they are as a collective on the pitch.
However, the ersatz Wombles have undeniably been very successful with this brand of philosophy against today’s visitors in the past. In ten previous meetings, the MK Cuckoos have been successful eight times and lost only once. They have scored 22 goals against Morecambe’s pathetic six and enjoyed no less than seven clean sheets against various incarnations of our club. Ours is a truly woeful record against these interlopers. Would things change today?
The omens weren’t good. First of all, one of the worst (and weakest) referees on the EFL list – Marc Edwards – would be in charge today. He’s shown time and again in the past that he can be intimidated by aggressive players and partisan crowds – right up MK’s street. Also, the Frauds started the game in the lowest of the Play-Off positions (seventh) in League Two. They have 42 points – eight more than the Shrimps – who lay in sixteenth position in the table. MK Plastics have won five of their last six league games and lost only one. Morecambe, by contrast, have won only one of their last six matches and drawn three.
Plastics’ Boss Mike Williamson started his assessment of today’s challenge for his Cuckoos with a bit of philosophy:
“If we stand still, we are going backwards. “
Yes – and if you try this at home, you will find that the Earth will immediately spin the other way. It’s a well-known fact, isn’t it?
No – it’s absolute drivel. But by this apparently meaningful expression, I guess he meant that he wants to sign new players to improve his existing squad. (Just saying so is presumably far too straightforward for him.) I may be wrong though – maybe the earth actually does spin the other way if you…
Whatever, the caveat he added to this deeply profound statement is possibly even more extraordinary in itself – and quite astonishingly arrogant if also taken at face value. He said about his team’s ability to score late goals in games:
“I think that’s a reflection of the group we’ve got. We talk about trying to be relentless in our endeavour; in every area; every metric. We’ll always be pushing; we will never be the finished article. In games where we haven’t got the points, it’s a matter of just running out of time: it’s not from our attitude or our mentality.”
Blimey! Let’s hope that Marc Edwards doesn’t add on too many minutes today – because if he does, the Plastics will inevitably win, won’t they? Yes – you heard it here first: the Frauds only lose when the matches they play don’t last long enough…
As far as the unfortunate latest team to face a pre-ordained defeat by his men is concerned (provided the match lasts for more than ninety minutes, of course), Mr Williamson said about Morecambe specifically:
“The stars have aligned and Mercury is rising. (Yes, I know Mercury’s a planet, not a star – but stop interrupting – you’re putting me off my stride!) And when Mercury is rising, we all know what that means. Yes – rain by Monday…”
Only joking – he didn’t really say that. Did he?…
MK’s Head Coach actually said about Morecambe’s draw at the Maz last Saturday:
”They had a good result at the weekend. Mansfield are obviously favourites for automatic (promotion). We are looking forward to it. We know they are going to be extremely hard- working and we are going to have to match that. We are going to have to match their intensity; their discipline and their physicality – but we will focus on the way we play and the way we go about it.”
Someone who knows a lot more about the Cuckoos’ latest Head Coach (they’ve had loads in recent times) is Morecambe’s Norwich City loanee goalkeeper Archie Mair. Archie was a member of the Gateshead squad which Mike Williamson was in charge of earlier this season. In a supremely confident and articulate interview with Morecambe Media guru Matt Smith this week, the 23-year-old said:
“I think him and the staff he’s taken there – they’re absolutely brilliant. When they were in at Gateshead, we were flying as well and up and around it. But I’m not surprised at all. They’ve got good ideas; a clear style of play. They have already recruited a couple from Gateshead this window and I’m not surprised at all the way they are going really because he’s a good manager.”
As far as his own team is concerned, Ged Garner was put straight into the starting eleven at Centre Forward by boss Ged Brannan. Kayden Harrack and Brandon Barker were also in the squad but both started on the bench.
Elsewhere, six of ten scheduled games were postponed in League two this afternoon due to frozen pitches the length and breadth of the country. The weather in Buckinghamshire was dry with occasional sunshine in contrast – and it was a positively balmy six degrees centigrade as the match kicked-off. There was a minute’s applause to remember MK’s lost souls of recent times and then the game started in front of a stadium which is far too big for the relatively sparse crowds it tries to fill it with.
Depressingly, Morecambe were behind almost as soon as the game started: Joe Tomlinson played a cross into their danger area from the MK left and an unmarked Max Dean was quickest to react. He curled the ball perfectly around the outstretched left arm of Archie Mair into the bottom corner of his net to put the hosts into an oh-so-familiar position: in the lead against the men from north Lancashire. Morecambe’s first chance came after six minutes when Ged Garner attempted to play-in Adam Mayor only to see the ball cleared by a Plastics’ defender. MK had the next pop at goal with 12 minutes on the clock when Dean – who had already been booked for a poor challenge on Jordan Slew – curled another effort over the bar. Mair then did well to save another shot from the same player after almost twenty minutes. The Shrimps’ new goalkeeper then had to dive full-length to brilliantly keep out another goal-bound effort a few moments later as Frauds’ Central Defender Warren O’Hora got his head to a corner. Archie continued to earn his corn as Tomlinson was instrumental in a swift counter-attack by the Plastics – he again did really well to keep-out Nemesis Dean’s effort with twenty-four minutes played. Three minutes later, Morecambe won their first corner of the afternoon from their right. As Mayor attempted to take it, the usual shenanigans were going on in the MK area, with one of their players lying on the ground as if seriously injured. He wasn’t of course but the Cuckoos managed to deflect Chris Stokes’ effort over the bar from virtually right on the goal-line when the ball finally came over. From the forthcoming corner, Stokes managed a flick-on again with his head but Garner seemed to be caught in two minds as to how to connect with the ball as it came towards him at speed and finally steered it wide of the goal. Tomlinson then also missed the target for the hosts with an optimistic effort with just over half an hour played. The Frauds had a couple of efforts blocked before half time but they went back to the Dressing Rooms in front of an eerily quiet and sparsely populated huge bowl of a stadium fairly comfortably in the lead following a pretty insipid performance from the Shrimps so far.
Our Ged perhaps surprisingly did not make any changes at half time. But sticking with the same line-up paid-off after just eight minutes of the re-start. The visitors won a corner; Jake Taylor took it and Jacob Bedeau – or was it Jordan Slew? – managed to bundle the ball over the line at the far post to equalise. A couple of minutes later, Joe Adams pinched the ball from O’Hora and his effort was deflected for another corner to the men in the red strip. Mayor took this one but his in-swinging kick just eluded Yann Songo’o as he bore down on goal. At the other end, Bedeau and Mair combined to concede a corner to the hosts which was easily cleared after Daniel Kemp had a half-chance with almost an hour played. As the home fans belatedly woke up and chanted for a while, nothing much happened on the field. In the sixty-third minute, Mair saved comfortably from Tomlinson after an effort by the same player had been blocked by Shrimps’ Skipper Farrend Rawson a couple of minutes earlier. Following another corner to the Shrimps, Songo’o blasted a wild shot very high and wide with seventy-two minutes played. Substitute Gwion Edwards then missed by a mile with another effort for the away side with about ten minutes left. He missed again later on when better placed and then the Plastics broke away in the eighty-seventh minute and had an effort excellently blocked by Stokes.
There were seven extra minutes at the end so – bearing in mind what MK Head Coach Mike Williamson had said prior to the game, it was only a matter of time before his men won it – wasn’t it?
Sadly for him, Morecambe substitute and former MK employee Charlie Brown hadn’t read the script. He collected the ball in the ninety-third minute on the half way line after replacement Dean Lewington had given the ball away cheaply and raced towards the home goal. He kept his head and brilliantly placed the ball past Aston Villa debutant loanee goalkeeper Filip Marschall to steal the game for the Shrimps.
So – for the first time ever – Morecambe won in Milton Keynes to silence the home crowd and put a well-deserved sock in it for their loquacious Head Coach. The Frauds managed to cling-on to their Play-Off position as a result but hopefully that won’t last for such an obnoxious outfit. I have it on good authority that there was a better atmosphere at AFC Wimbledon this afternoon than there was in the home crowd of the club which once attempted to impersonate them. And the real Dons’ game was postponed…
Morecambe’s win pushed them up three places to lucky thirteenth in League Two tonight. If they win the game in hand they have over most of the clubs above them, they would be ninth. The man who doesn’t tend to talk in riddles or utter stuff which is frankly nonsensical – Our Ged – had this to say after the game:
“It was a tough, tough game. We had a good game plan. We let them play in front of us. In the end we caught them on the break and got away with it. All the lads were great today – there weren’t a bad player on the pitch. We’re not scared of anyone. If we stick to our game plan and the way we set-up, we’ll be a match for anyone.”
Milton Keynes Plastics: 1 Filip Marschall; 5 Warren O’Hora; 6 MJ Williams; 8 Alex Gilbey (C) (9 Ellis Harrison 76’) ; 11 Jack Payne; 14 Joseph Tomlinson (Y); 17 Ethan Robson (26 Lewis Bate 74’); 18 Max Dean (Y); 21 Daniel Harvie (3 Dean Lewington 82’); 27 Daniel Kemp; 29 Kyran Lofthouse (7 Jonathan Leko 83’).
Substitutes not used: 32 Michael Kelly; 2 Cameron Norman; 15 Tommy Smith.
Morecambe: 30 Archie Mair; 4 Jacob Bedeau (Y); 5 Farrend Rawson (C); 6 Yann Songo’o; 8 Joe Adams (19 Gwion Edwards (Y) 70’); 9 Ged Garner (20 Charlie Brown70’); 11 Adam Mayor; 12 Joel Senior (22 Kayden Harrack 76’); 14 Jordan Slew (7 Brandon Barker 61’); 15 Chris Stokes; 18 Jake Taylor.
Substitutes not used: 21 Adam Smith; 3 David Tutonda; 8 Oscar Threlkeld; 17 Cammy Smith.
Ref: Marc Edwards.
Att: 6,099 (193 from Morecambe.)
